Life is, at least for me, in many ways is about finding ways to appreciate what every moment means. I think that the hard days truly serves a purpose to keep us from being blasé, when we have the really good ones.
This is a story on that subject; the thin line of being “happy” and being “sad”. There is a cliche in Sweden, that everything is best when it’s “lagom” (a Swedish word for “not to much”, and “not to less”) and maybe happiness is just that; lagom?
I wish you enough
At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, “I love you, I wish you enough.”
She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed good-bye and she left.
He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied.
Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.
“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.
“When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.
“When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.”
[ Original story by Bob Perks, in Chicken Soup ]
This week has been all about decisions.
Since I’m working with Active Decision Support, I have started to think a lot about decision processes; and how decisions are made – both professionally as well as private.
One thought that really keeps spinning is how many of our decisions/crossroads that we actually are passing/making all the time without noticing/knowing it, and how big these non-decisions really can be.
The photo is from a trip last weekend, to Gotland / Visby on a really foggy day.
44 år!? 25-åringen?! 44 år…. ?
När jag växte upp brukade mina föräldrar ofta säga ”ta tillvara tiden och njut av livet, för du ska se att det bara kommer att gå fortare med åren”. På den tiden var viljan något helt annat. Längtade till moped, till körkort, till den första stora kärleken, till en musikkarriär, till att sluta plugget, till det första jobbet, till den första egna resan utomlands osv. Näsan hela tiden framåt, och inga större funderingar på vad som skulle komma.
Livet var fullt av dagar, och dagarna fulla av liv.
Idag har jag passerat de där dagarna när livet verkade oändligt, och förståelsen att vi inte lever för evigt börjar göra sig påmind. Inte på ett sätt som gör det jobbigt, utan snarare på ett sätt där det finns en tacksamhet över varje år man får.
När jag fyllde 40 var nog sista året som jag egentligen firade att jag ”blev 40”. Efter det har jag istället försökt att fira det fantastiska i att få uppleva ytterligare ett år. Har därför de senaste åren tagit semester den här dagen för att reflektera över var jag är, var jag är på väg och förhoppningsvis kunna korrigera en eller annan riktning som känns fel.
Det är också en dag för att tänka igenom livet ”så här långt”, och därför också en dag då mina fosterbröder alltid kommer i tanken. Två fosterbröder som jag tappade kontakten med under ett antal år, eller kort sagt en alldeles för lång tid. De fick inte så långa livsresor men de kommer alltid finnas med mig i mina tankar, och den här dagen är de alltid med mig extra mycket.
För fyra år sen på den här dagen hade jag mitt sista samtal med den äldre av mina fosterbröder, Ola. Han ringde för att gratta mig, och vi pratade om allt som varit och allt det som skulle komma. Ett långt samtal om livet i största allmänhet, men med mycket hopp om framtiden. Hur vi skulle hitta fler tillfällen att träffas osv. Det blev aldrig så. Han gick bort en kort tid efteråt. Något som påverkat mig djupt de senaste åren.
I nästan alla religioner nämns begreppet att leva efter döden, och min tolkning av det är att det vi gjort för andra under vår korta tid här är det som också kommer att leva förevigt. Mina bröder passar bra in på det, för de kommer alltid att leva vidare hos mig genom allt de betydde för mig under min uppväxt.
Livet är trots allt någorlunda rättvist för de flesta av oss. Vi stöter på problem längs vägen. De dyker upp lite olika ofta, och vid olika tidpunkter men de allra flesta av oss får vara med om att tappa någon nära, och också börja förstå att livet inte är för evigt. Stunder som kanske är viktiga uppvaknanden?
I allt jäv-t finns det också något bra att lära. Just händelserna ovanför lär en förhoppningsvis att njuta av livet. Att leva när vi lever, och uppskatta det lilla i livet. En öl med en god vän, fotografera en solnedgång, en golfrunda, ett spännande ”surr” långt in i natten osv. Låter säkerligen pretentiöst, men är det inte det här livet går ut på?
Det finns många fördelar med att bli äldre. Man dömer inte sig själv så hårt längre. Man har förstått att man kan göra fel, men har också (förhoppningsvis) vett att försöka göra det bättre hädanefter. En av de stora fördelarna; att man upptäcker att ingen är perfekt 🙂
Nu kanske det låter som att jag går omkring och deppar, och djupfunderar över livet i varje stund. 🙂 Det är långtifrån så, snarare tvärtom. Livet är magiskt, och som ofta annars citerar jag min mormor
– det är ju så kul att bara få vara med!
En livsvisdom, bättre än de flesta andra jag stött på.
Med allt det sagt känner jag mig idag väldigt rik. Rik på det viktiga i livet, dvs mina vänner och bekanta! Stort tack för alla gratulationer idag. Lovar att varenda en noteras, och ingen glöms! Oerhört tacksam för att ni finns där och stöttar i både upp- och nergång!
I’ve never been a hardcore fan of Lord of The Rings or The Hobbit, entertainment wise. But, as many others I think they are stunning to watch and it’s amazing how much work it must be to put it together. The scenery alone makes it worth watching.
During this Christmas Holiday I watched “The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey” from last year, and in that movie Gandalf sums up what I try to have as my guide line in 2014 (and onward off course)
“Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”
A great and simple quote!
Best Wishes for 2014!
This day, the day before Christmas Eve will always be strange. Three years ago my foster-brother Ola Hansson passed away, on this day. I still think about him a lot, and hope that his memory will be kept among all of us that he touched in his life time.
Instead of writing something new, I reblog a post from before in honor of his memory as the great person he was.
I guess this blog post is as personal as it gets, but at the same time this blog is about “life in general” so I’ve decided to share some thoughts around a personal subject.
Since I’m going to Piteå shortly from now; a trip that I’m really looking forward to, this will be the first time in winter since last christmas and I guess there will be memories from last years visit. Last christmas was a really odd one. My foster-brother, Ola, that lived with our family during my whole up-bringing passed away on the evening of the 23:rd of December.
This picture was taken the next morning, in the morning of Christmas eve. At that moment, when the picture was taken, we still hadn’t got the message.
The morning was really chilly and calm, and in many ways respectful of what we didn’t know at that stage. Now, 10 months later I guess this picture means a lot more than just trying out a new camera that was the main purpose for this picture.
My brother lived in the southern parts of Sweden, and I guess we hadn’t spoken nearly as much as we should’ve done, but last year (in 2010) that changed, and we had started to make some plans together. Not big plans, but nice small ones. Ola had been ill in the winter/spring of 2010, but we all thought that he now would fully recover. Our plans came to a sudden end during the christmas Holliday… Will never forget when my father answered the phone and I instantly could feel what’ve happened.
I’m really proud of my brother. He made a remarkable life journey both in his private life as in his career and in many ways he could be a role model for many others. When Ola was in the middle of “högstadiet” (between middle school and high school in US) his grades were really poor (around 1 in Swedish terms) and he struggled in many parts of life, and the future, to be honest didn’t look that great but one day my mother and Ola made a deal.
My mom asked
– Ola, do you want to stay home from school for two days?
and you can guess what the instant answer was? 🙂
– Of course!!”, he said with a big smile!
My mother replied:
– Ok, you can call in sick but you have to do one thing during the days you stay at home, and that is to study for the test that you will have a few days from now.
Ola thought that this deal was great! And I can imagine that it was a great feeling that a parent told you to call in sick… so he stayed home, listened to his KISS-albums, but he kept his promise, he studied!
When the test results came back Ola had the best score in his whole class, and he was proud, he suddenly felt as if he was as good as anyone else, and this wasn’t so hard! This was a big day of change for him in his school work, and I guess in his overall life. When he left high school he had 11 (I think it was out of 13 or 14) 5:s (grade A+ internationally) and the rest was 4:s (like grade A:s).
I have so many stories about Ola; like the first time when he was baby sitting for me and my sister and mixed cinnamon with cocoa and made us, in a strong bossy style, drink half a litre of that brew, not listening to our loud childish complaints. A horrifying moment at that time but afterwards a great laugh, and all about young minds.
After finishing school and he had left his national services behind, he then after a few years of work in the paving industry, started his own firm in the same branch. A firm that got really successful.
After some time he also met his wife and started a family. A family that I know he loved above all.
With love and respect
This song was performed by Ola Sigfridsson at the ceremony
Maybe the best way to judge how far a society has evolved: Compare the amount spent on keeping people healthy and alive, instead of the opposite
If you’re interested in tech, gadgets, cars, f1 and so on you might like my “tech-blog” http://lifeinsumpan.com. While this blog is aiming at thoughts, life’s great mysteries and of course Photography, http://lifeinsumpan is more on the shallow parts of life.
I guess that these blogs together might illustrate life in general; we’re all not just one-sided. Everyone has many sides depending on where you choose to look.
Hope to see some of you over there as well.
Best wishes for Saturday
I’m currently spending time in a relatively cold Piteå (-27 degrees right now). The Palt dinner (traditional dish in the northern parts of Sweden) at mother’s is just finished and the effects of the ”paltkoma” (you get VERY tired after eating this dish) begins to make itself felt. Those who think that they are tired when the alarm clock rings at 7:00 after a Swedish typical Christmas party at work, have never eaten more than three of my mother’s ”paltar” and tried to stay awake an hour later …
It feels almost unbelievable that it’s Christmas again, and just like every year, this is a time to summarize the past year, and start thinking of what to look forward to, for the next.
For many people, Christmas is an incredible great time of year. Hang out with family and friends, sit together at the Christmas tree, watch a movie with a loooong preceded best before date, Christmas music played in the background, traditional bad jokes, and the possibility to once again listen to those family stories that are told every year.
For some others, it may be the opposite, ie that Christmas brings anxiety and pressure, perhaps because they’ve lost someone, failed to get kids, poor economy, unable to be with the people they want to celebrate with, or simply have less pleasant memories associated with Christmas.
Personally, this year, like every year, contained amounts of both positive and negative events. If the year is to be characterized as a good or bad year I do not know, but I know that there are both memories and experiences that will mean a lot to me for the rest of my life.
A while ago I posted a story “I wish you enough” by Bob Perks, and perhaps that story is about what actually makes us happy; the mixture of the negative experiences that, in turn, creates contrast and makes us appreciate all the positive things in life? There are many clichés in that area, but I think there is a lot in that story. To stop, think and take contemplate about the year that’s gone is an important part.
An interesting phenomenon that increasingly made itself felt in recent years is Facebook, and how it affected our lives. If I may make one, perhaps exaggerated parallel, I think Facebook in a way is a year-round Christmas spirit with friends, colleagues, acquaintances and fb friends that gives us positive pushes and “likes” the positive things that happens to us in our life, and with simple small presses of a button, we all have a chance to mean something to someone else, and share their joy and life experiences.
I know I’m going a bit far with the analogy above, but somehow I feel that Facebook with all the “friends in real life”, colleagues, acquaintances and fb friends that I share my experience with means a lot to me, and I am grateful for the people I have been fortunate to have around me, both there and in ordinary life.
Merry Christmas to you all, the followers of this blog, my Facebook friends, and whether you have the best Christmas as you hoped for, or for some reason have one of those less enjoyable “middle Christmases” that puts the rest of the year in a better perspective, I hope you get a great end of the year, and that this Christmas is what you want it to be.
As an experiment I’ve set up a page on Facebook. The page will be a way to be noticed when there are new things published on this blog. It may also be a better way to share thoughts and ideas in a better way?
The link to the new page is http://www.facebook.com/saarimner
Welcome to visit